Annie's Savvy Cafe

The economy is so bad...

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

African television stations are now showing ‘Sponsor an American Child’ commercials!

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.

I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”

CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

My ATM gave me an IOU!

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

They renamed Wall Street ” Wal-Mart Street .”

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.  Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally… I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

 

Thanks to fellow sarcastic blogger Sheila over at Slightly Sarcastic!!  Stop by and read her stuff!

You'll put somebody's eye out

I came across this and had to share with my readers. This is a case of funny but true and it doesn't even discuss the Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle .

 

 

By Scott Paulsen, FOR THE PITTSBURGH TRIBUNE-REVIEW
Friday, December 10, 2010

We didn't have much, yet I cannot remember a Christmas when the tree wasn't surrounded with presents for us five kids. Mom and Dad found a way, each year, to play Santa.

That still doesn't explain why they tried so hard to kill us.

I am reminded of their murderous efforts each year at this time as safety organizations publish their annual lists of toys deemed "too dangerous for children," an inventory Mom and Dad would have considered "research."

The idea of parents willfully buying dangerous toys for their children may seem irresponsible to the people of today, those who place helmets on every bare head. I, however, am an ancient throwback from the time before airbags, a survivor of the days when people drank unfiltered water straight from neighbors' garden hoses.

We played outside, all day, without supervision, helmets, watch lists, knee pads, life coaches or schedules, among hard rocks, sharp tree branches and germ-filled dirt -- and survived such dangerous and foolish times.

After 11 months of dealing with five muddy kids, my parents were only too happy to shake Santa's hand in December. The three had a deal. They'd feed him milk and cookies. In return, he would leave all sorts of deathtraps under the Paulsen tree.

Santa brought me a Wood Burning Kit when I was 6 (6!). It consisted of a sharply pointed metal spear that, once plugged into a wall socket, rose to a temperature hot enough to burn wood (thus the name).

Each year, one of the five of us would get roller skates (stitches), a sled (fracture), or skateboards (concussion). The best gift Santa brings -- a BB gun -- was perpetual as well. Three boys in a family will ensure that happens.

Now, in our modern, scheduled play date, constant visual contact, haz-mat suit, OSHA-approved padded foam play areas with a lifeguard-on-duty world, we know the Daisy air rifle was responsible for eliminating the eyes of 93 percent of American men between the ages of 45 and 60. No wonder eyepatches became so fashionable in the '80s.

It wasn't only the boys. My parents wished to maim and disfigure my sisters as well. They live to this day with the scarred reminders from leaning too close to the Easy-Bake Oven. Pink bicycles flew as far as black ones when jumping from the back porch.

I applaud the efforts of groups like W.A.T.C.H. (World Against Toys Causing Harm) for publishing lists of dangerous toys. They mean well. Shortly after applauding, however, I laugh, knowing that kids have not changed one iota from when I was a short person. No matter how safe a toy is deemed, a 10-year-old will find a way to make it dangerous.

Mom and Dad made it easy. They gave us lawn darts, pogo sticks, mini-bikes, bow-and-arrow sets and that granddaddy of irresponsible parenting, the Gilbert Chemistry Set.

Wonder what happens when I mix these two together?

Oops.

That's going to leave a scar.

 

Paraprosdokian

I have a dear friend that I can always count on for a good laugh or pick me up. No matter what goes on in life, she inspires me with her positive attitude and her uncanny ability to know when I need a little comic relief. Thank you Karla!

Here is today's pick me up...

A paraprosdokian (from Greek "παρα-", meaning "beyond" and "προσδοκßα", meaning "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

Ø   I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
 
Ø   Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
 
Ø   I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
 
Ø   Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
 
Ø   The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
 
Ø   Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
 
Ø   If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
 
Ø   We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
   
Ø   War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
 
Ø   Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
 
Ø   The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
 
Ø   Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
 
Ø   To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
 
Ø   A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
 
Ø   How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
 
Ø   Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
 
Ø   Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
 
Ø   I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
 
Ø   A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
 
Ø   Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".
 
Ø   I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
 
Ø   I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"
 
Ø   Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
 
Ø   Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
 
Ø   Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?
 
Ø   Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
 
Ø   A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
 
Ø   You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
 
Ø   The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
 
Ø   Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
 
Ø   A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
 
Ø   Hospitality:  making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
 
Ø   Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
 
Ø   I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
 
Ø   Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
 
Ø   There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
 
Ø   I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
 
Ø   I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
 
Ø   When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
 
Ø   You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Ø   To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Ø   Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
 
Ø   Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
 
Ø   A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it, as when you are in it.
 
Ø   If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
 
Ø   Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Eat, Pray, Love

I am sure you have heard about it...the new movie with Julia Roberts soul searching across Italy, Indonesia and India. Everyone seems more than excited about the movie, but from what I understand the book is what it's all about. My friend received this book for her birthday on Saturday and we didn't see her all day Sunday because she was tucked away in her room reading. She did come out for water and a few snacks and the occassional potty break,  but other than that, she just couldn't put it down. One of my kids actually bought her that book because she couldn't wait long enough for her to finish reading her copy. I guess who ever finishes first better float a copy my way. I am so behind in my reading already, but from what I understand this is totally worth it. I love reading a book before seeing the movie so that you really know what is going on during those parts they skim over.

If you haven't already had the pleasure of reading this book, here is a link to Amazon that will get you reading in a hurry!

Terms and Conditions

Does everyone always read the "terms and conditions"? I have to admit that I do not. At least not always. It really does depend on the situation. If it involves a lot of money (mostly mine), then I might take some time to read. When I am applying to affiliate vendors I never read the terms and conditions because they all basically say the same thing, and I have read it before...blah blah, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Well, as a lot of you, my fellow bloggers, know...there are many ways to "make money online". As much as writing is fun and stimulating or whatever, most of us are still trying to bring in a few extra bucks to account for the time we spend in front of our computers. Some of us will go to different lengths to make this money, like clicking links for exchange all day, or placing ad links on other people's sites. Myself, I try to stay within the money making tactics that will possibly enhance my writing experience or at least my blog, but I will come back to that in a later post.

Earlier today I came across a site that had a great money making scam opportunity.  No matter how good it may sound, keep in mind the old adage...if it sounds too good to be true.....blah blah blah. So, I moved forward with great skepticism. Supposedly the "great opportunity" only costs a $2.97 processing fee. Well, that really isn't too much to ask, although I am still not sure what they are "processing".  Anyway, whenever I am paying for something online and I don't get a warm fuzzy feeling from it (I know...why bother then), I use a pre-paid debit/credit card that doesn't have much (if any) money on it just so there is no chance anyone is accessing my real checking account or credit cards (not that they would get very far). I started to pay this $2.97 so I could receive this great offer to make all this money, but the site would not except a pre-paid card like the one I was using. I thought this odd because it was backed by VISA, but oh well. After being so rudely rejected, I decided to actually read the "terms and conditions".  Better late than never I always say.  Well, there was some eye-opening information that made me realize why they wouldn't except a pre-paid card. It also made me very thankful that I did not get roped into this particular opportunity (I use this term loosely, very loosely).

Here are a few excerpts:

When submitting this order, you agree to the trial offer for only the online shipping and handling fee of $2.97, which will provide you with instant access to our entire system.  Once your five-day trial period is up, you will be charged a one-time fee of $139.95.  Following this activation fee, you will receive a monthly charge of $39.99 for three months for full access to the training course.

Additionally, any trials that may or may not be offered with this product are only during the said allotted time of the trial period, which in this case is five days.  If you have not cancelled within the trial period, then you agree to pay the activation fee of $139.95 and a monthly reoccurring cost of $39.99 per month for the three month training course.

By providing any personal information, you agree and are giving permission that Direct Commerce Academy System, its associates, sponsors and co-sponsors of this offer may contact you by means of telephone, e-mail or other sources of marketing, even if your number is found on a do not call registry or listed on an opt out list pursuant to the CAN-SPAM Act.

I guess the moral of the story is don't be an idiot and think the terms and conditions are not important enough to read. We can all afford the time to save being charged that kind of money.

The picture I added to this post was found on a Google image search, but please realize that the picture nor the scam pictured, is in any way affiliated with Google.

Interview on the Street

You gotta love the attitude!

 

 

This is how my brain works....

or shall I say, this is how my brain doesn't work. Right after Thanksgiving, I was remembering that a dear friend of mine had a birthday coming up in the first half of December. The 10th to be exact. Well, I knew it was coming and I planned everyday what cutesy little thing I could do, either by posting on my blog or by Facebooking something. She doesn't like a big fuss, but she certainly deserves to be recognized on her birthday, especially since she is older than me, ha ha!! That is my favorite part of her birthday.

Well, you know Facebook does everything it can to remind you of these upcoming birthdays short of reaching out and slapping you in the face, and all week prior to the 10th I was wishing it wasn't reminding me because I was doing a fabulous job of remembering all by myself and I wanted the credit. I was so pleased with myself and that doesn't happen very often. I didn't want her thinking the only reason I remembered was because Facebook reminded me.

Well, the 10th of December came and went and I couldn't for the life of me tell you what I was doing all day, except completely forgetting someone's birthday. Even Facebook wasn't good enough to trigger me that day. Now, the way I see it, I though of her for weeks in advance, and now I think of her everyday while trying to figure out how I forgot her. Maybe the moral of the story is that I really do think of her much more often than just on her birthday (obviously) and I hope she has some normal friends that helped her celebrate that particular special day that managed to elude me one way or another.

A brain fart (jocularly derived from "brainstorm")^[1] is slang for a special kind of abnormal brain activityhuman error while performing a repetitive task,^[2][3] or more generally denoting a degree of mental laxity or any task-related forgetfulness, such as forgetting how to hold a fork. Tom Eichele, a neuroscientist at the University of Bergen in Norway, was part of an international team of researchers who identified evidence that the brain fart is detectable in brain scans up to 30 seconds before the mistake is actually made. The researchers suspect the abnormal behavior is the result of the brain attempting to save effort on a task by entering a more restful state. The scientists detailed their findings on 21 April 2008 online in the journal which results in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. The scientific term they gave the phenomenon is "maladaptive brain activity change

Happy Birthday Malia!!!!!!

You know I love ya!!! Everyday!!

An Actual Craig's List Personal Ad

One of my savvy readers asked that I share this with everyone. I don't know how true this story is, but I would like to think it is possible that someone actually thought to handle this situation in this manner...

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last,

Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 am, E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that somehow you come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head...isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone and wallet with me. (That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again).

After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, --on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful.

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie's Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet. (That made his day).  I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb...after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's up with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you...but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and I can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember next time you might not be so lucky.

Have a good day!

Thoughtfully,

Alex

Yes, I'm still alive and blogging...

I have written before about how life gets in the way, but good grief......I let it run away with me this time. I have no good excuse. I guess I could make one up, but what's the point?
I have spent a reasonable amount of time working on my MonaVie business, which I love. That is something I can devote as much or as little time to as I see fit, which is perfect for me. No real guilt involved!!!!

I have also been remodeling my home office. Now, when I say "remodel", what I really mean is that I have completely destroyed the room and I know where nothing is. All but one computer is unplugged, and all my organization (I use this term loosely) is gone. The pile of bills that was on my desk is now in a box waiting to be sifted through. So, if you are a bill collector and I owe you money, you are going to have to call and ask me for it and I will dig you out of the pile.(Keep in mind this only works on a first come, first served basis).

My Dad is doing all the real work as far as the office is concerned. He is building me all new desks and cabinets designed for my own personal needs. I looked at the really expensive office furniture in the Pottery Barn catalog because that is what I have always wanted. Although their furniture looks great in the catalog, your choices are limited and the price tag is out of this world. When Dad is doing the build work, your choices have no limits and the quality is the best there is, right down to the heavy duty hardware. When the office is completely finished, I will post a picture for all to see. If you live close enough, you may be lucky enough to have Dad build you something, but we don't ship!

I used to consider myself an EntreCard addict, which was justifiable because it kept me in touch with my blogging world friends. Now, I have to say I am a FaceBook addict. I am not proud of this, and I would like to say I can quit at any time, but I would be lying. I have a lot to say about FaceBook so I am going to save it for another post.

Let's see, what else can I blame my absence on? Oh I remember...I have read all 4 books in the Twilight series. That is more reading than I have done in 2 years, let alone 2 months.

Now that I am done whining, I will get back to regular blogging and getting in touch with my favorite bloggers again...you know who you are!! For those of you that still stop by even though I have given you no reason to, thank you from the bottom of my little pea-pickin' heart.

Too long to be a comment

My new friend and fellow blogger, Jane Doe over at Insanity Personified, always writes about things that I feel the urge to comment on. I think that makes her a great blogger. She usually just writes whatever is on her mind at the time, but that is the best part of her writing. I don't think she really cares if we like it or not. The funny part of it is, I can't wait to read what she writes because I usually feel the exact same way. As I have said in a previous post, I wish she were my neighbor so that I could start every day out with coffee and Jane. Then again, I guess that is what I do anyway just via the Internet. Wouldn't it be funny if she really was my neighbor?

Jane's latest post made me anxious to comment on her blog, but by the time I was finished writing, it looked more like a post in itself than a comment. So, I have turned my comments to Jane into a post today. That means you will also have to stop by and check out Jane's blog so you know what the heck I am talking about.

For Jane:

First of all, if you started your day off with a crappy cup of coffee like that, no wonder you can't breathe! A good, comfy cup of coffee in the morning is mandatory for survival. After 8 months of training, even my Golden Retriever knows that! As far as sleeping at night, you should try the MonVie that I drink. It makes me sleep like a baby.

Second of all, the only thing I notice about Michelle Obama is that she is a beautiful, smart woman no matter what she wears. People who are fascinated only by her sense of fashion might be a factor in what is wrong with our country right now. A small factor, but none the less, a factor.

Third of all, I also love to read, but rarely find the time. As of late, I have decided that having time to myself to read makes a better life for all involved, especially those of them residing in my house with me. Given that information, let me also tell you that I am embarrassed to admit that I have become completely addicted to the Twilight Saga that is so popular right now with teens. The first book was a Christmas present and since I am so easily intrigued, I started reading it right away. Needless to say, I am now in the middle of the third book and can't put it down. It is much simpler reading than you are probably used to, but I tend to get lost in the story and the way the author makes me feel and I love that. If you haven't already read this series, I strongly suggest you immerse yourself in this fantasy world. You will discover a whole new desire for vampires and werewolves!

Fourthly, (is that a word?) I feel the same way about the Clinton presidency. I really did not care what was going on in the Oval office after hours, nor do I think the whole nation should've wasted our time and money on it. The country was in a good place, Bill seemed like a good man (and he played a mean saxophone) and the rest was Hillary's problem. If that is what it takes to run this country, then I hope President and Mrs. Obama have a very active sex life and I don't care if it is in the Oval office or Air Force One. Although, they probably don't really want me blogging about their sex life and I expect the black helicopters to circle my house any minute.

Lastly, congrats on your recent awards. I look forward to checking them out when you post them. I hope you are having a wonderful day, and I also hope this posts makes you realize that you are not alone in this world.

Could be the next greatest thing...

Something incredible has arrived!
I just became a shareholder in me2everyone and I never had to pay a single penny for the shares! It can only be described as the gold-rush for 2009. This company is going to be huge and shares will soar in value over the coming months! You can register for free and it never has to cost you a single penny!

me2everyone is going to be a cool new virtual world where you can meet friends, chat, shop, play, watch videos, create an art gallery, open a virtual newspaper, play the free inworld lottery and make money from your own online store! You and everyone you know make the decisions, shape the world, create real incomes and share in the profits. It’s a new place where you meet new people or invite your friends. Learn new skills or expand your business. Find the love of your life or help the planet.

Membership is free and every member automatically becomes a shareholder in me2everyone Limited. Personally I have 1000 shares in the venture and I am going going to increase my shares very soon. This is an excellent chance for all of us to make some real progress in 2009 and beyond! Please do not miss it.

If you are looking for something really good in 2009: something that changes your view on the world, then you really have to spend just one minute and look at this website. You need a referral number to sign up so go to my page and enter 25040. This could be tons of fun and pay off at the same time.

New Year's Resolutions

Usually on New Year's while everyone else is spewing ridiculous resolutions, I am resolving not to even try to fool myself into thinking I am going to change anything about me or my habits. Don't get me wrong, it's not like some things don't need changing, but I know better than to expect myself to change them. (Then there are the things that are changing without any help from me, much to my dismay). That is a full time job just accepting those changes let alone forcing any others. This, however, is just the way I see it. I know that there are a lot of folks out there that really need this new lease on a new year and need to feel that they will better themselves in some way. For me, it is kind of like a do-over. Like, okay...last year wasn't bad, but let's try to get it right this year!! What do you think? What do you want to try and get right this upcoming year without piling on the pressure of a full fledged broken promise to one's self?

Maybe saying you will quit smoking is a little too much, but maybe saying you are going to smoke less is more reasonable. That goal may be more obtainable. Maybe you want to lose a ridiculous amount of weight. Instead of making yourself miserable every day when you fail to adhere to that latest fad diet, try saying I will eat less and exercise more. As a bonus you may lose some weight without putting pressure on yourself or raiding the refrigerator every time you fail.

I have a few things I would like to improve upon without making it seem like I am making any silly New Year's resolutions. Actually, I might wait until sometime in February to start work on my list just to be a rebel.

• I would like to write more and be a better blogger ( I am not looking to win a Pulitzer)
• I would like to relax and read more ("me time" I like to call it)
• I want to travel more (but I am not ready to sail around the world)
• I would like to eat less (or better would probably be the best terminology)
• I would like to go on more walks with my husband and my dogs
• I would like to procrastinate less (but my medicine does not allow it...too bad, maybe another time)

So you see, we all have things that we would like to improve upon, but do we need to have anxiety trying to not disappoint ourselves? I don't think so!
What kind of resolutions do you have for the New Year? Or should I say "What kind of changes would you like to start working on in 2009?"

Best of Luck and Happy New Year to all my readers and friends and family!

I have lots to say...

although you would never know it by the amount of posts I have done recently. I must apologize for my absence on my blogs. If any of you know me from The Savvy Tourist you have already heard about what I have been doing with my time. I have been working on my MonaVie business. Some of you may already be familiar with MonaVie and some of you have never heard of it I am sure. Well, at the risk of sounding pushy, I have to tell everyone that the MonaVie products and the business is phenomenal. If you have already been introduced to this amazing fruit juice and the compensation plan that supports it, then I know you must be a MonaVie distributor.  You cannot walk away from this opportunity during this economic crisis. MonaVie is a multi-billion (almost a trillion) dollar business and they are totally debt free.  Who else can say that right now?

If by chance you were having a stupid moment and weren't paying close enough attention when someone was trying to introduce you to MonaVie, then you can be forgiven...once! If you didn't sign into the business immediately or at the very least agree to drink the juice, then I suggest you visit my MonaVie site and learn more about it. If you don't already have a friend in the business, then please purchase your first bottle/case of Monavie from me. If you do have someone that loved you enough to want to share this with you, then I suggest you call them and get signed up. If not, you can get signed up through my site and e-mail me with any questions you may have. By signing up as a distributor, you can purchase your MonaVie products at wholesale. You save the sign up fee on the first case of juice!!! After that...absolutely no commitments. If you like it, you are all set to continue drinking MonaVie at wholesale prices and start a very lucrative business if that part interests you. Gee, do you know anyone who wants to make a little extra money right now?

I would love to hear from other MonaVie distributors that share my passion for this awesome product and company!

Customer Service takes a back seat...again!

The last two weeks have proven to be financially frustrating for my son, who recently started his own business. He's still in college, but he and a friend had a great idea to start a DJ business, and they devoted their summer to getting it up and running. We are all very proud of them. The biggest problem that must be overcome in a new business is usually the financing. Well, this is where he thought he was ahead of the game. He actually had money that he thought was easy to get to considering it was in an account with his name on it. Little did he know that getting his hot little hands on his own money would be harder than pulling his own teeth.
The account in question is an account he holds in joint tenancy with his grandmother due to an inheritance. So, the first thing he did was go online with his grandmother's assistance and make sure he was the primary account holder and had control over the account without requiring her permission. That was easy enough. Then, he accessed the account and linked it to his checking account and arranged for a wire transfer to his regular banking facility. (You will notice I am leaving out the names of the participating financial institutions so as to protect the innocent and the guilty. I haven't decided which is which at this point.) This all transpired on a Monday and he was informed that the wire transfer would take 3 days. He would have his money no later than Thursday.  He made arrangements to pick up his DJ equipment based on this information.

Well, Thursday rolled around and guess what? No money! After a phone call to the receiving financial institution, it was discovered that there is a different routing number used for wire transfers other than the one you may be familiar with on your checks. He was informed that all banks do this. Okay, so now what? Where did the money go? In a situation such as this, the Federal Reserve Bank which monitors the wire transfer has rejected it and sent it back to where it originated. That would be the bank that requested the routing number from the bottom of his checks in order to transfer the funds in the first place. Follow me so far?

So, yet another phone call to the fine banking institution that started this whole mess and he is informed that they cannot repeat a wire transfer, even though the first one did not go through and he now possesses the correct routing number. They had not been informed of any such rejection by the Federal Reserve Bank, but when they were, they would be sure to cut him a check and he would receive it within 5 to 7 business days.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

This was unacceptable, and at 19 years old, my son was learning the hard way how this world really works. He was very patient and polite and asked if there was any way possible that they could arrange to overnight him his check. It took an act of Congress, but finally someone took some responsibility and promised the overnight check to him. (Although not before he paid a $35.00 fee). At this point he wasn't very confident in that he would ever see his money. He had already paid $40.00 for the wire transfer and that didn't work.

Keep in mind this is still Thursday. I won't bore you with the details of waiting for that overnight check that finally showed up on Tuesday!!!!

Of course, off to the bank we all go. When I say all, I mean me, him and his grandmother. You see, the check had been written out to him AND his grandmother, even though he thought he had made arrangements in advance to avoid this. We figured we would be one step ahead of the next problem and all be there to deposit this check. He and his grandmother had the job of signing the check and my job was to throw a tizzy fit if anything else went wrong.

AND IT DID! 

AND I DID!

Turns out that since the check was made out to both of them it could only be deposited in an account with both of their names on it. WHAT? Is this a joke? When did they start that? Rules, security and automation all lumped together are beginning to get very troublesome, not to mention inconvenient as hell. Well, to make a short story a little longer, they had to open up a joint savings account so they could deposit the check. Now, since that is a new account and doesn't usually have this kind of activity (duh), there will be a 5 day hold on the check. Holy Crap! This whole process started on Monday, August 18th. Given there was a holiday in the whole ordeal, the money was finally available to him on September 4th. Imagine that...his own money available to him in only 17 short days. We could've planned and executed an entire bank robbery in that amount of time without half as much trouble.

Am I lazy or what?

As most of you know, I also write another blog called The Savvy Tourist. It is mostly a resource guide with tales of my travels and my thoughts on said travels. Operating several blogs takes a little lot of time. It isn't always about the writing. There is quite a bit of "back office" (as I like to refer to them) tasks that must also be completed.  I am sure everyone's task list is a little different, except for those EC addicts out there. We tend to spend a little more time dropping cards and socializing on forums than most. Besides that, there is this little thing called "life" that gets in the way. I have written about that before. No matter how much I love to write on my blogs, I still have a house to clean, kids to be there for, new puppy to love and train, friends and family to spend time with, laundry to do, dinner to cook, bills to pay, lawn to mow, shopping to do, husband to love and train, and we won't even talk about my favorite TV shows I never get to watch anymore or the gym membership that doesn't get used because there isn't enough time in the day. I am sure you are wondering where I am going with this. Well, someone left a comment on my other blog asking if I was lazy because I hadn't posted in awhile. I just wasn't sure what to say to that. I beat myself up on a daily basis because I don't feel as if I get enough accomplished, and now a complete stranger wants to know if I am lazy. Well, I certainly do not think I am lazy. Busy...YES! Lazy...NO! Like I do not put enough pressure on myself, now someone who doesn't even know me wants to add a little more to the pile. What's up with that? Should I be insulted? Or should I be flattered that he/she even noticed that it had been awhile since I posted?
Any thoughts?