Annie's Savvy Cafe

The economy is so bad...

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

African television stations are now showing ‘Sponsor an American Child’ commercials!

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.

I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”

CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

My ATM gave me an IOU!

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

They renamed Wall Street ” Wal-Mart Street .”

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.  Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally… I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

 

Thanks to fellow sarcastic blogger Sheila over at Slightly Sarcastic!!  Stop by and read her stuff!

Terms and Conditions

Does everyone always read the "terms and conditions"? I have to admit that I do not. At least not always. It really does depend on the situation. If it involves a lot of money (mostly mine), then I might take some time to read. When I am applying to affiliate vendors I never read the terms and conditions because they all basically say the same thing, and I have read it before...blah blah, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Well, as a lot of you, my fellow bloggers, know...there are many ways to "make money online". As much as writing is fun and stimulating or whatever, most of us are still trying to bring in a few extra bucks to account for the time we spend in front of our computers. Some of us will go to different lengths to make this money, like clicking links for exchange all day, or placing ad links on other people's sites. Myself, I try to stay within the money making tactics that will possibly enhance my writing experience or at least my blog, but I will come back to that in a later post.

Earlier today I came across a site that had a great money making scam opportunity.  No matter how good it may sound, keep in mind the old adage...if it sounds too good to be true.....blah blah blah. So, I moved forward with great skepticism. Supposedly the "great opportunity" only costs a $2.97 processing fee. Well, that really isn't too much to ask, although I am still not sure what they are "processing".  Anyway, whenever I am paying for something online and I don't get a warm fuzzy feeling from it (I know...why bother then), I use a pre-paid debit/credit card that doesn't have much (if any) money on it just so there is no chance anyone is accessing my real checking account or credit cards (not that they would get very far). I started to pay this $2.97 so I could receive this great offer to make all this money, but the site would not except a pre-paid card like the one I was using. I thought this odd because it was backed by VISA, but oh well. After being so rudely rejected, I decided to actually read the "terms and conditions".  Better late than never I always say.  Well, there was some eye-opening information that made me realize why they wouldn't except a pre-paid card. It also made me very thankful that I did not get roped into this particular opportunity (I use this term loosely, very loosely).

Here are a few excerpts:

When submitting this order, you agree to the trial offer for only the online shipping and handling fee of $2.97, which will provide you with instant access to our entire system.  Once your five-day trial period is up, you will be charged a one-time fee of $139.95.  Following this activation fee, you will receive a monthly charge of $39.99 for three months for full access to the training course.

Additionally, any trials that may or may not be offered with this product are only during the said allotted time of the trial period, which in this case is five days.  If you have not cancelled within the trial period, then you agree to pay the activation fee of $139.95 and a monthly reoccurring cost of $39.99 per month for the three month training course.

By providing any personal information, you agree and are giving permission that Direct Commerce Academy System, its associates, sponsors and co-sponsors of this offer may contact you by means of telephone, e-mail or other sources of marketing, even if your number is found on a do not call registry or listed on an opt out list pursuant to the CAN-SPAM Act.

I guess the moral of the story is don't be an idiot and think the terms and conditions are not important enough to read. We can all afford the time to save being charged that kind of money.

The picture I added to this post was found on a Google image search, but please realize that the picture nor the scam pictured, is in any way affiliated with Google.

Could be the next greatest thing...

Something incredible has arrived!
I just became a shareholder in me2everyone and I never had to pay a single penny for the shares! It can only be described as the gold-rush for 2009. This company is going to be huge and shares will soar in value over the coming months! You can register for free and it never has to cost you a single penny!

me2everyone is going to be a cool new virtual world where you can meet friends, chat, shop, play, watch videos, create an art gallery, open a virtual newspaper, play the free inworld lottery and make money from your own online store! You and everyone you know make the decisions, shape the world, create real incomes and share in the profits. It’s a new place where you meet new people or invite your friends. Learn new skills or expand your business. Find the love of your life or help the planet.

Membership is free and every member automatically becomes a shareholder in me2everyone Limited. Personally I have 1000 shares in the venture and I am going going to increase my shares very soon. This is an excellent chance for all of us to make some real progress in 2009 and beyond! Please do not miss it.

If you are looking for something really good in 2009: something that changes your view on the world, then you really have to spend just one minute and look at this website. You need a referral number to sign up so go to my page and enter 25040. This could be tons of fun and pay off at the same time.

Customer Service takes a back seat...again!

The last two weeks have proven to be financially frustrating for my son, who recently started his own business. He's still in college, but he and a friend had a great idea to start a DJ business, and they devoted their summer to getting it up and running. We are all very proud of them. The biggest problem that must be overcome in a new business is usually the financing. Well, this is where he thought he was ahead of the game. He actually had money that he thought was easy to get to considering it was in an account with his name on it. Little did he know that getting his hot little hands on his own money would be harder than pulling his own teeth.
The account in question is an account he holds in joint tenancy with his grandmother due to an inheritance. So, the first thing he did was go online with his grandmother's assistance and make sure he was the primary account holder and had control over the account without requiring her permission. That was easy enough. Then, he accessed the account and linked it to his checking account and arranged for a wire transfer to his regular banking facility. (You will notice I am leaving out the names of the participating financial institutions so as to protect the innocent and the guilty. I haven't decided which is which at this point.) This all transpired on a Monday and he was informed that the wire transfer would take 3 days. He would have his money no later than Thursday.  He made arrangements to pick up his DJ equipment based on this information.

Well, Thursday rolled around and guess what? No money! After a phone call to the receiving financial institution, it was discovered that there is a different routing number used for wire transfers other than the one you may be familiar with on your checks. He was informed that all banks do this. Okay, so now what? Where did the money go? In a situation such as this, the Federal Reserve Bank which monitors the wire transfer has rejected it and sent it back to where it originated. That would be the bank that requested the routing number from the bottom of his checks in order to transfer the funds in the first place. Follow me so far?

So, yet another phone call to the fine banking institution that started this whole mess and he is informed that they cannot repeat a wire transfer, even though the first one did not go through and he now possesses the correct routing number. They had not been informed of any such rejection by the Federal Reserve Bank, but when they were, they would be sure to cut him a check and he would receive it within 5 to 7 business days.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

This was unacceptable, and at 19 years old, my son was learning the hard way how this world really works. He was very patient and polite and asked if there was any way possible that they could arrange to overnight him his check. It took an act of Congress, but finally someone took some responsibility and promised the overnight check to him. (Although not before he paid a $35.00 fee). At this point he wasn't very confident in that he would ever see his money. He had already paid $40.00 for the wire transfer and that didn't work.

Keep in mind this is still Thursday. I won't bore you with the details of waiting for that overnight check that finally showed up on Tuesday!!!!

Of course, off to the bank we all go. When I say all, I mean me, him and his grandmother. You see, the check had been written out to him AND his grandmother, even though he thought he had made arrangements in advance to avoid this. We figured we would be one step ahead of the next problem and all be there to deposit this check. He and his grandmother had the job of signing the check and my job was to throw a tizzy fit if anything else went wrong.

AND IT DID! 

AND I DID!

Turns out that since the check was made out to both of them it could only be deposited in an account with both of their names on it. WHAT? Is this a joke? When did they start that? Rules, security and automation all lumped together are beginning to get very troublesome, not to mention inconvenient as hell. Well, to make a short story a little longer, they had to open up a joint savings account so they could deposit the check. Now, since that is a new account and doesn't usually have this kind of activity (duh), there will be a 5 day hold on the check. Holy Crap! This whole process started on Monday, August 18th. Given there was a holiday in the whole ordeal, the money was finally available to him on September 4th. Imagine that...his own money available to him in only 17 short days. We could've planned and executed an entire bank robbery in that amount of time without half as much trouble.